CoreGroup Guide | We Just Click - Part 3

From Pastor Charity
ONE COREGROUP ONE DAY 2025

Wow! It was awesome! I ? folks who ? CoreGroups.

And, we came together - about 250 or so of us - to meet people who live in our neighborhood, to pray for one another, to eat good food and dessert, to hear a word on incarnation (moving into the neighborhood) and mission (Love God. Love Self. Love Neighbor). To widen the tables at which we sit. To BE the church, not just go to church.

We’re taking to the streets in our CoreGroups. We’re asking God how we can be more local based, rooted, impactful on our block and in our neighborhood. If you missed the event, you can check it out here.

Welcome
Welcome, friends. This is the third week in our series “We Just Click” in which we consider God’s design for relationships. We began by establishing the desperate need we have for relationships in order to combat loneliness, to create joy in our lives, and to practice love. Last week we looked at marriage and how attitudes toward  equality, commitment, intimacy, and forgiveness can help us build lasting marriages. This week we want to look at the dating experience. Dating can lead down the road to marriage, but it can also offer other opportunities for meaningful relationships for those who remain single.  

Opening Prayer
Father God, we are here today because you desire a relationship with us and for us. And we are amazed. Thank you for each one here and for any who may not have made it today. It is good to be in one another’s presence. We ask that you be with us in our discussion of dating. May our exchange of thoughts and feelings strengthen our commitment to you and to one another.  Amen  

Ice Breaker
A common destination or meeting place for a date is a coffee shop or an ice cream “parlor.” What's your favorite kind of ice cream? Do you prefer a cone or a cup? One scoop or two? Are toppings essential? Nuts, or sprinkles? Fruit, fudge, caramel, or marshmallow?

The Head
Throughout scripture there are individuals that we either know or suspect were single throughout their lives. Daniel was probably single; Jeremiah was instructed by God not to marry; John the Baptist, Jesus, and several women – Mary Magdalene, Martha, and Lydia were all single as far as we can tell. In a teaching about sexual immorality, Paul describes singlehood as a gift from God.  

I Corinthians 7:7-9

I wish all people were like me, but each has a particular gift from God: one has this gift, and another has that one. I’m telling those who are single and widows that it’s good for them to stay single like me. But if they can’t control themselves, they should get married, because it is better to marry than to burn with passion.  

• What is Paul’s main message about singlehood? Why do you think he held this belief?
• Compare Paul’s stance on singlehood to common attitudes today. What do you notice?
• In what ways can the church be a community that supports both married and single individuals?

Dating is a specific time in which relationships become intentional. Decisions are made about whether to continue as friends or to move to a greater level of commitment that could lead to marriage. Regardless of the intent or the outcome, there are some guidelines for how we should interact with one another as followers of Jesus.
 
Colossians 3:12-17

Therefore as God’s choice, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with each other and if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. And over all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. The peace of Christ must control your hearts – a peace into which you were called in one body. And be thankful people. The word of Christ must live in you richly.  Teach and warn each other with all wisdom by singing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.  Sing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Whatever you do, whether in speech or action, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the Father through him.

• According to this scripture, what attitudes or postures are we to have toward others.
• How does practicing love incorporate all of these postures?
• How does being tolerant (allowing for space) contribute to healthy dating?
• Describe how relationship with God is intertwined with our human relationships.

The Heart
Traditionally, dating has been defined as a stage of “romantic” relationship in which the possibility of a more serious relationship is explored. A more contemporary definition suggests that dating is time spent with another person for the purpose of getting to know them or to explore compatibility through various shared activities. However defined, a significant component of dating is the emotional aspect. Dating is often a stressful time because people have difficulty expressing feelings, trust issues, and/or fear of rejection. Past experiences and expectations – both our own and others close to us – may add to the stress.

• How would you define dating based on your own experience? What particular stressors, if any, did you experience?  How did you, or how are you, dealing with that stress?
• How has dating impacted your spiritual growth? For example, what evidence do you see in your life of greater compassion, more constant gratitude, or a willingness to forgive? 

The Hands
Relationships require constant effort. Dating can be a conscious step we make in maintaining and renewing our deeper relationships. This week, plan a date – go on a date! If you are married, plan a time for you and your partner to do a fun activity that involves sharing time and conversation apart from the everyday routine. If you are dating someone, trying to determine what the future may look like, plan an activity that offers the opportunity to learn something new about your companion. Try something new together or switch roles in the usual pattern of things. If you are single, find a good friend or two and invite them to do something special with you. Before your date, think about what you want to express to your dating companion, in word or deed, that would enhance your relationship. Remember dating should be fun!

• What sorts of dates have you gone on in the past? How would you like this date to be different? Or what aspect of past experiences would you like to repeat?
• What logistical, emotional, or spiritual preparation will this date require?
• How might you help set reasonable expectations for you and/or your dating companion?
• After your date, take some time for evaluation – preferably with your partner – just a brief expression of what you appreciated about this particular time together.  

Closing Prayer
Father, God, thank you for the possibility of relationships.  Everyday we live in relationships and yet we forget so often the treasure that they are to us.  As we go out this week, remind us to be intentional just as Jesus was with people. May we grow in compassion and tolerance and love toward one another. Give us your peace as we live and work with the people who mean the most to us. Amen.

Going Deeper
Scripture has many stories of relationships – some lasting and durable and some doomed from the beginning. Here are a few that may be interesting to consider. Think about what we learn through their relationship with God and with one another. What can we apply from these stories to our own lives and relationships?  

• Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 12:10-20, Genesis 18, Genesis 20)
• Ruth and Naomi, Ruth and Boaz (Book of Ruth)
• Solomon and the Shulamite woman (Song of Songs 1-2)
• Mary and Joseph (Matthew 1)
• Jesus, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus (John 11) 

Additional Resources
Our Wellness groups will be on hiatus through the summer, but you can still reach out for prayer or for a specific need on the Gathering App.

For something lighter, check out the book Anxious People by Fredrik Backman. It is a novel, so no great authority – but it is the story of people in various relationships at different stages in life who are thrown together in a humorous hostage situation. The author has some good insights on how difficult relationships can be and how we move forward in life.