Cancel the Noise Discussion Guide - Part 3

Welcome
According to Greek mythology, there was once a handsome young hunter named Narcissus. Although many romantic interests pursued him, Narcissus turned away their advances and instead grew more deeply in love with… himself… or at least a reflection of his likeness in a pool of water. So obsessed with his own beauty, Narcissus could not pull himself away from his reflection, giving in to a life of agony and despair, and eventually dying of thirst and starvation.

This is the third week of our series Cancel the Noise: Take Control of the Voices You Listen To. Today we will be discussing our relationships with the people we call narcissists. Named after the Greek character above, a narcissist is generally seen as, “someone who has an excessive preoccupation with their own needs, worth, and self.” Today we will discuss how to be careful with these voices in our lives, making sure they do not rob us of our joy and well-being.

Prayer Practice
This week, groups are encouraged to spend 2 minutes in silence together. You are welcome to use a timer like we did in the first week. Or you could use the breathing exercise from last week.

Two minutes may feel like a long time, but hopefully this practice is becoming a bit more comfortable. During this time of silence, you can allow any thoughts, ideas, worries, or other voices to float through your mind. Notice them, honor them, and then gently set them aside until after the two minutes is up. They will still be there waiting for you at the end of the time.

When the two minutes are done, take a long, deep breath together and read the opening prayer.

Opening Prayer
God of the silence, God of the noise. We welcome you into this space today. Join us as we reflect on the people in our lives and the way their words and actions influence us. Help us to see the places where we feel drained and depleted. Give us the courage to be filled again by your words and the wisdom of this group. It’s in your holy name we pray. Amen.

Ice Breaker
This month, snow has fallen in places that rarely see temps below freezing, much less snow. If you could be a snowflake that landed anywhere in the world, where would you fall and why?

The Head
Our main scripture this week is from the book of 1 Timothy, an “epistle” (or letter) traditionally thought to have been written by the apostle Paul to his companion and protege, Timothy.

1 Timothy 3:1-5

1 You must understand this, that in the last days distressing times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unfeeling, impeccable, slanderers, profligates, brutes, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to the outward form of godliness but denying its power. Avoid them!

• Look at each of the words in this list. Are there any that are unfamiliar to you? Take a minute to review each of these terms using the knowledge of the group, or the internet!
• Which of these qualities have you witnessed in someone else? How does this person impact your wellbeing, your mood, and/or your spirit?
• What does it mean to hold to the “outward form of godliness” but deny its power?
• As you think about the “noise” in our world today, what does godliness sound like?

The Heart
In the letter to Timothy referenced above, Paul warns the Christian community about a number of pitfalls and troubling types of people. Around the same time, Paul wrote another letter to a newly formed church in a city called Philippi. In this letter, Paul encouraged the congregation to stay faithful and to live a life of humility and love, imitating Christ.

Philippians 2:2-4

2 If, then, there is any comfort in Christ, any consolation from love, any partnership in the Spirit, any tender affection and sympathy, 2 make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or empty conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not to your own interests but to the interests of others.

• Share an example of a time you were in partnership with the Spirit? What did it feel like?
• On the contrary, what does it feel like to do something out of selfish ambition or conceit?
• Think about someone in your life or the world who is especially humble. What qualities of humility does this person demonstrate? What voices do they share with the world?
• This scripture tells us to look not to our own interests but to the interests of others. Whose interests do you look to when trying to be of the same mind as Christ?

The Hands

• Think about a person in your life who sometimes drains you and leaves you spiritually empty. How will you manage your time with that person this week?
• Take a few minutes this week to look through the contacts in your phone or the list of people you follow on social media. Who fills you up and who drags you down? Consider turning down the volume on some of these voices for a few days and see what happens. 
• Think about a person in your life who embodies Christ-like love and humility. Plan a time to intentionally connect with that person. Share your plan with the group. 
• Spend some time this week reflecting on your own tendencies towards self-centeredness. Where are the places where you unintentionally contribute to the noise of the world? 

Closing Prayer
God thank you for this day, for this group, and for this opportunity to pause and notice the voices that most capture our attention right now. Thank you for the people in our lives who build us up and bring us joy. Help us to lean into those relationships while also striving to have better boundaries and healthier dialogue with those who challenge us. As we go back into the world today, let us have the same mind that was in Christ Jesus. It’s in his name we pray. Amen.

References
For more information about Narcissus, check out this website: https://www.worldhistory.org/Narcissus/

From Pastor Charity
Wellness Groups begin in February. Whether you're in a season where a group will benefit you or you know of someone, please consider your emotional health as you begin the New Year.

Review the offerings here www.gatheringnow.org/wellness