No Regrets - Week 4 Discussion Guide

Core Group Guide   No Regrets - Week Four
Written by: Sherrill Wall & Jenny Huffmann


Welcome

This is the final week of our series, No Regrets.  In this series we have looked at the way we handle mistakes, and we have considered three essential steps in moving forward in relationships with God and with others.  The first step is recognizing and owning our mistakes.  Pastor Charity defined obstacles we face in doing so - perfectionism, ingrained habits and self preservation.  Pastor Madi described how the second step, rethinking, could help us to see alternative choices.  Last week, Pastor Matt spoke about the importance of “repairing attempts” that can lead to healing relationships.  In this final week, we will be discussing what it means to release our mistakes and to move on.


Opening Prayer

Gracious God, you are good in all things.  Thank you for your presence with us in our discussions over the last few weeks.  Holy Spirit you have searched our hearts and helped us to see our own trespasses against one another.  Thank you for each one who has spoken bravely of past mistakes.  Thank you for each one who listened and encouraged by word and by presence.  Thank you that in Christ we have forgiveness and freedom from all our regrets. We pray in His name. Amen.


Ice Breaker

Do you think it's better to regret something you did or to regret something you left undone? Briefly explain your choice.


Head

In his letters to the various churches he visited, Paul often seeks to explain how the Old Testament scripture and tradition relates to Jesus and to our life in Christ.  In doing so he encourages the new believers to reckon with the past, but to move toward the future.  When we look at these verses in Galatians and Philippians we can also be encouraged that we can be free to move on from our mistakes and regrets.

Galatians 5:1
Christ has set us free for freedom.  Therefore, stand firm and don’t submit to the bondage of slavery again.

• What is the specific bondage referred to? (see Galatians 3:1-5)
• In what ways do we submit to the bondage of our past mistakes?

Philippians 3:13-14  
Brothers and sisters, I myself don’t think I’ve reached it, but I do this one thing: I forget about the things behind me and reach out for the things ahead of me.  The goal I pursue is the prize of God’s upward call in Christ Jesus.  

• What is the prize Paul is seeking?  
• Is the upward call of Christ the same as spiritual maturity?  Explain your answer.
• What does Paul have to forget about?  
• How does this relate to our discussion of regrets?  

John writes in his letters to the young churches that mistakes (sin) are inevitable, going so far as to say if we deny our sin, we make God a liar.  But then he speaks a cherished truth.

 1 John 1:9  
But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from everything we have done wrong.

• What are the two actions in this verse?  
• These words were written by John, but we see these truths played out in Paul’s life as well.  What evidence is there in Paul’s teaching that indicates he embraces this truth?
• How can this truth impact us as we deal with regrets?

Heart

These past weeks of considering our regrets have given us practical advice on how to deal with our mistakes.  Yet sometimes, even when we have reflected on our responsibility and made attempts to repair the damage, our own actions loom large in the back of our mind and we are not free to move ahead.  In his book, Surrender to Love, David G. Benner, a depth psychologist and transformational coach, invites us to consider the ways in which our view of God affects relationships with others.  He asks the question,  “What do you assume God feels when you come to mind?”  The way we answer that question may well affect whether we are able to receive true forgiveness and move beyond our regrets.

• Share your thoughts about Benner’s question. Why is such a consideration important in discussing release from regrets?
• How does guilt and/or shame affect your ability to receive forgiveness?
• If you are comfortable, share a time when you had a hard time letting go. What helped you to finally let go?
• Do you think the difficulty a person may have receiving forgiveness affects their ability to forgive others?  Why or why not?
• Is forgiveness, both receiving it and extending it to others, always necessary in order to move on?  Explain your answer.  

Hands

These  four weeks of self examination and review of past mistakes have challenged us in many ways.  The emotional effort to recognize and to reflect on the ways in which we have hurt others either by our actions or our failure to act may have left some of us feeling depleted.  Whether we have been able to attempt repairing or are still trying to deal with our thoughts internally, it is good to hear that there is a way forward.  God offers us forgiveness for all our past mistakes.  

Spend some time this week meditating on that release - “He is faithful and just to cleanse us of everything we have done wrong.” [1 John 1:9] Offer to God a prayer of thanksgiving.  Breathe.  And then as you are ready, begin to move on. Take some time to appreciate the work done and go out and have some fun.  Take a walk, go for coffee or out to lunch.  The purpose of examining our past mistakes is to experience freedom and to live open lives.  Just do it!


Going Deeper

Luke 7:36-50 tells of an incident when Jesus was invited to dine at a particular Pharisee’s home.  While he is there a woman begins to wash his feet with her tears and anoint them with an expensive perfume.  When the host is offended by both the woman and by Jesus who allows her to touch him, Jesus tells a parable.  Read the story about forgiveness and gratitude.  

• Tell the parable Jesus told in your own words.
• What does Jesus want the Pharisee to understand?
• How does the woman demonstrate her freedom in Christ?  
• What does she understand about forgiveness that the Pharisee misses?